by Jane Roqueplot
(Though not typical “Job Search Coach” material, I thought this was an intriguing way to learn more about DISC. Hope you enjoy your Valentine’s Day!)
It’s often advertised that love is expressed on Valentine’s Day through a gift of flowers, chocolates, jewelry, or even a Teddy Bear.
What if you really want to express love to your sweetheart, not only on Valentine’s Day, but on each day of the year?
It doesn’t require flowers, chocolates, jewelry, or a Teddy Bear every day, but love can be expressed by showing your sweetheart that you really understand him/her and also by doing those little things that are important to him/her.
Express your affection by DISCovering what truly makes your beloved feel happy, understood, secure, appreciated, and loved, and strive to provide those needs as often as possible year ’round.
The DISC concept helps you understand your sweetie’s “love language” so you can communicate the way he/she understands best. Here are a few tips based on your DISC styles.
Celebrate Valentine’s Day with Your “D” Style Sweetheart
Do something active together. For example, go ice skating, horseback riding, or hiking. If you don’t want to expend that much energy, see live theater or live music. “Ds” love action and are task oriented, so just following through on any task that he/she enjoys may be all it takes. Of course, be sure to let your “D” decide where to go after the event for lunch or dinner!
If your “D” doesn’t have the time to go anywhere, give him/her a trophy for a recent achievement!
Make setting goals romantic by doing it together with candlelight and his/her favorite drinks. Discuss goals you have together, such as trips you want to take, businesses you want to start and/or where you want to retire. Goals can be concrete or simply thoughts and ideas to dream on. Dreams and wishes often turn into realities, especially for the “D’s” ambition.
Do for your “D” all through the year
Take care of some mundane details that your “D” usually has to do. This might mean picking up the dry cleaning, getting an oil change, etc., or just sorting the mail properly.
Remember to keep your facts brief and to the point when sharing news or information with your “D” sweetheart. A “D” often becomes frustrated with too much information.
Ask “When” not “How” questions as often as possible. Asking “how questions” are sometimes irrelevant to a “D” style. “Ds” don’t always concern themselves with HOW something is done, they focus on WHEN it will happen or only on the results, rather than the details.
Being as candid, specific and non-emotional as possible when trying to appeal to your “D.” Opinions, generalizations, and emotions are not going to get you too far when communicating.
Celebrate Valentine’s Day with Your “I” Style Sweetheart
Surprise your loved one at their workplace by stopping by and taking him/her to lunch. Bring flowers, balloons, or candy with you when you arrive at his/her office. Colleagues will be impressed and your “I” will love the attention.
Make reservations at his/her favorite restaurant and have the hostess at the restaurant prepared to acknowledge your arrival with special seating or unique recognition in some special way.
Go to the place of your first date and have fun re-enacting that first time together. Share gifts and cards at the restaurant and talk about how far you have come since then. Just remember, be prepared to listen and let your “I” do as much talking as he/she wants.
Do for your “I” all through the year
Give him/her an opportunity to verbalize his/her thoughts, opinions, and feelings at the end of each day. Listening and providing lively feedback is such a great “I” gift.
Help him/her turn thoughts and ideas into action. Your “I” is great at conceptualizing ideas, although with more encouragement, support, and help, you can bring those ideas to life.
Don’t deny him/her opportunities to socialize, talk on the phone, make new friends, have fun, and be active. Be understanding that “I” personalities are stimulated by people and although you satisfy most of his/her social needs, you can’t fulfill all those needs.
Celebrate Valentine’s Day with Your “S” Style Sweetheart
Make a list of the top 10 reasons you love and appreciate him/her. Write a short sentence about each reason. If you feel ambitious, write a poem to your beloved.
Take a picture as a couple. This can be a very tender thing to do with your sweetie and remember to let him/her opt to be serious, silly or creative; frame the finished product as a reminder of your love.
Plan time to look through the “S’s” stuff. They love memorabilia and will enjoy “together time” to share it with you.
Do for your “S” all through the year
Express genuine interest in his/her work, ideas, and life each day. “Ss” like to know that they are supported just as they are so willing to support.
Always being patient with him/her. “Ss” may not live that fast-paced life as the “D” or the “I” style does, and they do have strengths worth appreciating openly. They are loyal, methodical, and are always the “glue” that strives to hold relationships together and are naturally real peace-makers.
Be friendly, affectionate, and show appreciation in the little things. Place love notes and cards or tokens of appreciation in various places around his/her space. This is the way to an “S’s” heart.
Celebrate Valentine’s Day with Your “C” Style Sweetheart
Skip the busy restaurants and plan a quiet relaxing evening, with warm tea while reading together.
Make your “C’s” favorite meal at home. Be willing to let your “C” help with the preparation; the “C” wants to be sure the recipe is followed accurately. Be sure to have all the right ingredients and all the proper measuring utensils AND be prepared to use them!
Go to a day spa and relax together. Get a double massage, sit in a hot tub, or soak in a whirlpool or arrange a shopping trip with a tailor or dressmaker for a custom fitted outfit.
No matter the event, just be sure you’ve notified your “C” in plenty of time so that the plans are on his/her calendar, well in advance. Do not rearrange those plans and do not be late.
Get your valentine a subscription to Consumer Report to be sure he/she can read up on all the best purchases.
Do for your “C” all through the year
Remember to use facts and accurate statements when communicating with your “C”. Don’t be vague or make them “read” into what you are saying; you will get a lot further, the more information you provide.
Keep surprises to a minimum year ’round. Give him/her as much advance warning of any changes, so that he/she can make appropriate adjustments.
Create a non-confrontational, peaceful environment for your sweetheart. Use patience, persistency and diplomacy at all times.
If you can’t be successful in keeping your own things neat and organized all the time, at least doesn’t ever mess up his/her stuff.